The House Always Wins


Name: PGL1 - The House Always Wins
How to begin: talk to Gagaruna at Platinum Mirage
Areas: Ul'dah

Last quest: -
Next quest: Here There be Pirates

Requirements to sign up: PGL20
Required items: Platinum mirage ledger, Shiny chip x5, King of Plots's gil, Wise Miser's gil, Lady Lewena's gil
Reward: ?


Coming soon


Toothless Gladiator

Level: ??
Drops: -
Location: Coliseum instance


Coming soon



Joining the Guild

Gagaruna: Welcome, friend, to the Platinum Mirage, where the sands turn to gil! But do not be deceived - we are no mere gambling arena. We are the very driving force behind Ul'dahs economy.
We amass gil, to be sure, but we also lend it. It is our duty to see that the city maintains a healthy flow of gil.
Of course, such dealings as ours carry inherent risks, and we are always looking for able-bodied adventurers to serve in our guard. What do you say?
(Join the Pugilists' Guild? No, I deplore violence/Yes, I do not wish to die without any scars)
Gagaruna: A wise investment in your future, adventurer. Now for your first lesson, though it may be one you have learned already. The world of Eorzeans has but three essential constituents - love, power, and money.
If you are well loved, power and money will come. If you wield power, you can take both love and money. And if you have money, you can buy either love or power. Yet lack for any, and you shall never rise high.
The city's guilds were founded upon these tenets. Eshtaime's Lapidaries and Frondale's Phrontistery devote themselves to the mysteries of love. The Coliseum and Amajina & Sons Mineral Concern, meanwhile, are dedicated to the honing of power and might. And as for the mastery of coin and wealth, none are more accomplished than the Order at Arrzaneth Ossuary, or we of the Platinum Mirage.
Yes, you can learn much and more of money by studying here. In time, you will come to learn that money is everything. Shall we begin, then?
(quest accept)
Gagaruna: Time is money, and you seem keen not to waste any. That is good. Go and speak to Titinin, just over there.

Gagaruna: Wealth is all - not only in U'dah, but throughout the realm. Use what power you have, adventurer, to make what wealth you can. And live!
Go now, and speak to Titinin just over there. He will see you on your way.

Melisie: What're you gawkin' at? <spit> I've had a bloody bellyful of you adventurers.
Been nothin' but trouble since the Mirage started takin' your kind on. Ain't you got a damsel in distress what needs savin'?

Halstein: Only one thing you need worry about doin' - keepin' the coin safe.
Might mean keepin' the people safe who's holdin' the coin. Might mean collectin' on coin what's been lent out. Might mean buyin' up wares what's worth coin.
Coin's like a good woman - she'll go where'er you tell her. An' we tell her to bed down in these lovely vaults we've got here, and see to it none go climbin' in with her.

I'paghlo: A girl gets to know some powerful men in this line of work. I've bedded a few, and been wooed by a good many more. But I've yet to find true love.
<sigh> What I wouldn't give to win the affection of someone like Esperrraunce…

Heibert: Don't let that adorable li'l Lalafell smile fool you. Titinin'll beat the bloody piss out of you!
Sizes up everyone he meets, he does. And reckons their worth on sight. I wager he'd make you for…no more'n a hundred gil.

Gunnulf: A newcomer to the Mirage - allow me to welcome you, friend. You have the look of an adventurer about you - aye, and the smell. But your past means naught here.
What matters here is the strength of your arms, and the depth of your discipline. And if you have courage and courtesy, all the better.

Shamani Lohmani: Every soul in Ul'dah knows that nothing escapes the Mirage's notice - no task or dealing, great or small.
They fear us. They fear our strength lest it be brought to bear upon them. And that fear is what preserves the order of things.

The Gil Collector

Titini: A new fish, eh? Well enough. Can never have enough of you adventurers around here.
Aye, there's work to be hand. And of a sort perfect for an underling such as yourself.
The work itself don't get much simpler. And there's a pretty gil in it for you. Here's your list of debtors.
What do you man, what are you supposed to do? Nobody's explained it to you?
You'll be collecting on outstanding loans, of course. The names on that list are some of our valued patrons.
Their love for the Mirage is trumped only by their love for money. And so it's our pleasure to fund their recreation.
Sad to say, though, the grace period for the latest round of instalments is nearly up. So you are to pay them each a visit in turn and collect payment.
You needn't worry. They're all the type to pay without needing any excessive…persuasion.
I suggest you start with the landowner, Esperaunce. most folk call him the King of Plots, such are his tracts. You're like to find him somewhere around Eshtaime's Lapidaries.
No doubt he's having the object of his latest infatuation sized for whatever jewels she fancies. You know what hey say - it's good to be the King of Plots.
Of fyou go, then. And don't forget to wear a smile.
(obtain a Platinum Mirage ledger)

Titinin: Start your collections with Esperaunce. He is known throughout Ul'dah as the King of Plots, and is no doubt at Eshtaime's Lapidaries bedecking the object of his latest infatuation with whatever jewels she fancies.
I suppose it is in our best interest that the wealthy remain single. They spend far more coin on their courtesans and consortiers than their lady wives and lord husbands.
But never mind that. Remember to put on humble airs, <Player>, and your task should prove easy enough.

Gagaruna: You have only just joined us and already you are blessed with a chance to meet the King of Plots himself. A stroke of good fortune, indeed!
The impression you make upon him and the other patrons you visit may well determine your future in this city. Best of luck.

The King of Plots

(Eshtaime's instance)
Bouchard: From youth, Ul'dahns are taught to see others. Not just look at them, but truly see them for what they are.
We are unmatched as judges of character. And rightly so. Survival here means knowing who you can mark, who you should mark, and who means to mark you.

Holbubu: Toil the days away. Save every gil you can. Buy yourself a fancy grave. Such is the life of an Ul'dahn - and a grand one it is!

Sungi Kelungi: Lord Lolorito is the official proprietor of Eshtaime's, but he has left all fo his dealings to Yuyune, the current guildmaster.
When the last guildmaster was stripped of his position, the entire upper echelon of the guild was replaced. Such dramas make this city what it is.

Lefchild: You adventurers have always done well by me. Your travels take you far, and often put you in great company. Send any business my way, and I'll see ot it you're well rewarded.
I could offer you a trinket. Or…a good polish for your family jewels, perhaps? Should you have any, that is. Anything you'd like.

Sultry Strumpet: Espie told me I look so lovely today, he will buy me absolutely anything I like!

Beauteous Beauty: Espie is going to buy us whatever we fancy - and then we're all going back to his chambers to celebrate! I expect he'll want to give us something else when we get there! Heehee!

(CS. You stand behind Esperaunce and his ladies, and are completely ignored)
Esperaunce: <sigh> These lowborns are beyond belief. Why must they insist on assuming airs so palpably unsuited to their breeding?
Beauteous Beauty: I wish they would simply state their business and be off. And yet they force us to endure their noisome presence for minutes upon end!
Esperaunce: Anyway, where were we? Ah, yes! The necklace. It was this one, yes? It's yours, my darling. Anything your heart desires. Anything at all.
Beauteous Beauty: Espieee, what about the earrings I showed you? You did think me pretty in them, did you not?
Esperaunce: Of course I did, my darling, of course I did. I would not think of leaving without them.
(Lefchild brings something to Esperaunce. He digs around and drops gil)
Esperaunce: Hahaha! Gods, I'd forgotten I had gil about my person. What a mess!
Lefchild: Please, allow me to pick it up, Lord Esperaunce.
Esperaunce: No, no, I will not hear of it, my dear. Leave it where it lies. The Mirage's minion there will be only too happy to tidy it up.
Lefchild: Very well, milord. Then I shall wrap your purchases right away.

Beauteous Beauty: What an ungrateful backwater knave you are! You should be thanking Esperaunce for his generosity!
Sultry Strumpet: Hahaha! Go on, get down on all fours like a good dog and sniff out the coins. Hahaha!

(CS. Lefchild comes back with Esperaunce's package. The girls rejoice)
Lefchild: Here you are, Lord Esperaunce. It is always a pleasure to serve.
Esperaunce: Bah, trifles, nothing more. Just send word whenever you would like to have me buy you one, rather than have you sell it to me.
(the three leave)

The Wise Miser

Titinin: So the King of Plots parted with his gil, did he? I daresay you are off to a promising start.
Next on your list is the Wise Miser. I'd wager you'll find him somewhere near the Quicksand.

Naida Zamaida: Twelve be with you, milord. Might you spare some gil for a Lalafell down on his luck?
(Spare the Lalafell five hundred gil? No, my gil is my own)
Naida Zamaida: Oh,for an adventurer to be so miserly! I would think you wise - were your ignorance not so obvious! Hohoho!
(Yes, pay the wretched bastard)
Naida Zamaida: Twelve bless you. Thank you, milord, a thousand times over. Is there aught I can do you for? Looking for someone, mayhap?
The Wise Miser, is it?
Well, now I've gone and done it. I suppose I'm obligated to tell the truth now, aren't I? And for the lowly sum of five hundred gil!
You need look no further, friend. I am the miser you seek, though I do begin to doubt I am wise.
Hohoho, had your brow all asweat there, did I not? You've come for the moeny I owe the Mirage, I gather. Very well, here you are.
Now don't risk your back carrying all that around, do you hear? Hire a dray and a chocobo or two to pull it! Hohoho!
Judging by the look on your face, I'd say you were surprised to find such a lot of coin on such a little fellow. Well, they don't call me the Wise Miser for nothing. Hohoho!
Wits, boy, will get you anything, anywhen. I took up the beggar's life after learning of it in tomes from across the sea, and have never once looked back.
Feel free to join me at it whenever you like! You'd be surprised what wonders your wits could work in this city! Hohoho!

Muse of the Mirage

Titinin: It is no easy task to track down the Wise Miser. The Mirage will not soon forget this service, <Player>.
You have one final patron to visit - Lady Lewena, wife to a well-known trader and merchant, and one of the most famous women in all of Ul'dah.
She has come to be known as the Muse of the Mirage, so frequently does she bless us with her presence. You will almost certainly find her within our halls.

(in front of the Mirage. A woman staggers out)
Lewena: Who are you? And what business do you have with me?
You seek coin, do you not? Aye, you and everyone else. Well, I certainly do not want for the stuff, I grant you that.
But what do you offer in return? What could you possibly give me that I could not possess of my own accord?
The days bore me, and the joys of gil grow passing pale. I want excitement, stimulation, titillation. I want you to make these loins pulse and shudder with rapture.
I want you to fight for me in the Coliseum.

(at the Coliseum)
Singleton: A pugilist of the Mirage, eh? Here to make a name for yourself on the bloodsands?
(Will you fight in the Coliseum? No, pig. I've no interest, you miserable, vomitous mass/Yes, why else would I be here, you lackwit?)

Lewena: This is an absolute mummer's face.
Lewena: Pummel! Pummel! Pummeeel!!!

(you exit the sands and meet Lewena)
Lewena: Such a thrilling match! Putting your life on the line, all for me! I have something very, very special for you in return…
Payment on the loan I owe the Mirage. Farewell!
(she leaves)

Titinin: It seems you've made good on all of your collections. And without the slightest trouble! Truly impressive for your first endeavor. You have a talent for this, <Player>.
Perhaps you've learned that the wealthy are not one kind but many. The pious say we are all cut from the same cloth, but if that's so, why do the poor come only in roughspun, while the rich come in lapins and laces, sables and silks?
I shall tell you why - because money gives those who have it the freedom to choose how to live!
And you have learned something of the power of money as well, I trust.
Lord Esperaunce relies upon it for love and fame. The Wise Miser uses it to procure power and knowledge. And the lovely Lady Lewena requires it to feed her lust for excitement.
Everything has a price, <Player>. Once you know, not think, but know that truth, your life will change forever.
Which brings us to your reward. Here you are, then. I pray it serves to change your life in some small degree, as swell.

Category: Quests


Warning: creating a page through this button makes a page in the category and as a child to the page you're on right now.

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 3.0 License