Jemimi's Mission - Impossible-Wossible

This page has been archived here from official Square Enix sources. It was originally posted on 12/03/2014.

*chomp* *chew*
Hnngh! *choke* *g-gulp!*

W-were you watching that, kupo?
Swallowing an entire egg…that was eggs-tremely painful, kupo.
I didn't realize we had started already, kupo…

So, egg-hunting season is upon us once again this year, kupo!

Collect "initial eggs," which have been labeled with single letters of the alphabet, and win the special prizes we at MHMU have prepared for you, kupo.

We put in a lot of effort to ready a new prize, too, kupo.
Of course, it goes without saying…

With a brand, spanking new prize comes the need for a brand, spanking new code word, kupo.

Adventurers, go forth! Happy hunting and best of luck in finding those codewords, kupo!

"Okay. Listen up-wup, rookie journalist Jemimi!"
"Listening-wistening, Mistress Konana! But, um, I wish you'd drop the 'rookie' part already!"
"*Sigh*… Look, Jemimi. The financial situation here at the Magic Paradise Weekly office is not so robustaru as to keep useless freeloaders on the payroll! Until you get yourself a scoop, a rookie you are and a rookie you'll stay!!"

Jemimi instinctively snapped to attention.

"Y-yes, ma'am! But isn't this the direction we went in last year, too, sister Konana? I'm getting a strong sense of déjà vu…"
"I told you not to call me sister! It's 'M-i-s-t-r-e-s-s' to you!"
"Yes, yes. Understood, Mistress Konana!"
"Good! You see, Jemimi, we at Magic Paradise Weekly have acquired some classified-wassified, top secret information!"
"Top secret…information?"
"Apparently, there's going to be a new prize offered at this year's egg huntaru!"

The Egg Hunt is an event set up by the MHMU each year that signifies the arrival of spring.
Adventurers can collect colorful "initial eggs" and trade them in for various prizes. However, each prize has a corresponding code word that must be spelled out using the initial eggs, or the prize cannot be redeemed.

"What I want you to do, Jemimi, is verify the accuracy of this information!"
"Huh!? But how?"
"That's for you to figure outaru! Then do whatever it takes-wakes!"
"U-understood! I, Jemimi, will figure it outaru by doing whatever it takes-wakes!"

And so it was that Jemimi decided to sneak into the moogles' manufactory. Disguised in the Moogle Suit she had acquired on the off chance she might need it, Jemimi successfully blended in with the moogles and managed to infiltrate their base of operations.

"You there, the mog who arrived late! Hurry and get over here, kupo!"
"A-are you talking-walking to me?"
"Huh? You talk kind of funny, kupo."
"I-it's just your imagination…kupo! Uh, over there, right…kupo?!"

Heart pounding, mog-Jemimi took her place in line behind the other moogles.

In the large room was gathered what looked to be the entire moogle workforce of the MHMU manufactory. From wall to wall was a sea of moogles.
"Wow, when they're all gathered together like this, moogles really do all look alike," thought Jemimi to herself. There were little differences, such as the pom-pom on the head being a slightly different color, or the fashion in which they wore a satchel around their waists or over their shoulders. But for the most part, the differences were so small. It was like one of those spot-the-difference puzzles in which a keen eye was required to discern even one of the myriad, frustratingly miniscule variations.

"Quiet! Quiet, kupo!"
The Head Foremoogle of the manufactory climbed to the top of the highest platform.
"Today we decide on the new code words for the Egg Hunt prizes, kupo!"
At these words, Jemimi shouted for joy (internally, of course).
"(All right! A scoop-woop!)"

She was about to find out the code words for the Egg Hunt prize! That alone was enough exclusive information. But in addition, she was also about to witness the exact moment a MHMU prize was given a name—a moment which had always been shrouded in mystery.
"(I wonder how the moogles come up with all the various names?)"

"First off, we'll decide the code word for this new prize, kupo!"
Then, with a grand gesture, the moogle Head Foreman raised high above his head the new Egg Hunt prize – a shield.

"(Oh my goodness! What is that? it's absolutaruly adorable!)"

Emblazoned on the defensive device was the likeness of a chocobo chick.

"Yes, kupo!"
"Smithing Manufactory group, you start!"
A moogle wearing an apron with a hammer design on it spoke up loudly.
"Shield, kupo!"
"Shield…armor…helmet, kupo!"
"Head, kupo!"
"Egg Helm!"
"Colorful egg!"

"(What? Huh? What's going on?)"

Jemimi was perplexed. She understood the relevance of the first word: "shield" – it was obviously a reference to the "Hatchling Shield" in front of them, but it was just too literal.

After listening for a while, Jemimi slowly realized this was a word association game. As one moogle shouted a word, a different moogle shouted another that had some connection with the previous one, and so on and so forth.

Between the moogles, words flew, tossed, sizzled, and popped, like chopped vegetables flung into a hot frying pan. Then, once the word associations became too twisted and illogical, the Head Foremoogle uttered but one phrase – "Denied, kupo!" – and the idea was shelved. It was like watching some sort of ritual.

"(I see. So this is how the moogle-woogles come up with their prize names.)"

No wonder adventurers found it so hard to guess the code words. To figure it out, they would have to follow the moogles' eccentric train of thought!

"Hey, you."
Suddenly singled out, Jemimi jumped in fright.
"M-me? Um…what is it, kupo?"
"You haven't come up with a single idea yet, kupo!"
"Go on! Hurry up and contribute to the meeting, kupo!"
"Oh, u-umm……"
"You…sure are suspicious, kupo. Could it be you're actually a spy, kupo!?"
"N-n-no, I'm not! Um, uhhh…I've got it! That shield has a chocobo chick on it, sooo…"


"S-starlight cake!" shouted Jemimi. That triggered a tidal wave. The moogles, exhausted from the brainstorming session, took Jemimi's idea and began running with it, yelling name after name of food items of all sorts. The next instant, there was a loud rumble as the many moogles' stomachs growled in unison.
"Denied…kupo!" the Head Foremoogle sputtered painfully. The moogle who had called Jemimi out was also flushed in the face.

"What do you think you're doing, kupo!? It's forbidden to mention food ten minutes before break time, kupo!"
"B-but how was I supposed to know thataru?!"
"Urk! I mean, kupo!"
"It's too late, kupo! I knew it, you really are a spy from a far-off land, kupo!"
"N-no, I'm not–"
"Enough, kupo! Yah!"

*Pop* Something small came flying and landed in Jemimi's mouth. Something round and sweet – a…piece of candy?
"M-mmgh…gulp! W-what was thaaaat?"
Jemimi suddenly realized that she was staring not through the eye holes of her suit, but into the darkness created by the fabric that had caved in around her now miniature frame.
"Stay in that form for a while until you've learned your lesson, kupo! Now, never come sneaking into the manufactory again, you hear, kupo!?"

Konana, who had been working on the remaining manuscripts at the news desk, raised her head at the sound of Jemimi's voice and recoiled in shock.

"What the–! W-who are you?!"
"It's me, Jemimi!"
Jemimi removed her rotund, little Moogle Suit, but what now stood in front of Konana was a portly, little, green…leafkin.
"You're a leafkin-weafkin."
"Nooo, I'm Jemimi!"
The instant Jemimi shouted, the spell wore off and the woeful underling reverted to her own form.

After Jemimi tearfully concluded the report of her infiltration, Konana gave one big nod.
"Good work! That's some scoop-woop! …And?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"The code words! What are they?"
"U…um…I was already turned into a leafkin when they decided, so…"
"Don't tell me you weren't listening."

"Umm, well…one of them…yes, I'm pretty sure one of them had three 'E's!"

"And there was one that consistarued of an 'L,' 'F,' 'K,' and an 'N'."

"O-oh, and also 'V' 'A'…something like that!"
"…You didn't even get a single-wingle code word!"
"B-b-but I was turned into a leafkin-weafkin!"
"A news story lives or dies by the accuracy of its information! How can I make an article-warticle out of this!?"
"Whaaaaat!? Come ooooon!"

It seems that Jemimi still has a long way to go before becoming a full-fledged journalist.


Story: Miyabi Hasegawa
Illustration: Mitsuhiro Arita

Category: News

This content copyright Square Enix.