Eggstra! Eggstra! Read All About It!

This page has been archived here from official Square Enix sources. It was originally posted on 21/03/2012.

It's time to break out your baskets and sharpen your egg-le eyes for the egg hunt, kupo!

As always, all you need to do is egg-ssemble initialed eggs, arrange them in an eggs-orbitant number of ways, and redeem them for egg-ceptional prizes! I'm so egg-cited, my wings have started whisking up meringue just thinking about it, kupo!

The MHMU has truly spared no egg-spense this year, providing a plethora of presents—some new, some old—for egg-venturers far and wide! So get cracking and beat a path to your nearest representative before this offer egg-spires!

Stop the presses! It seems we have a merry missive from our moogles in the manufactory!

"We had to scramble to paint everything on time, but we hope you enjoy the yolks of our labor, kupo."

I love to see that sort of spirit from our slav—I mean spegg-tacular laborers, kupo. Their plucky perseverance and devious devotion to disguise are just two of the reasons only the most eggs-pert of adventurers can find any initialed eggs in the field.

Speaking of which, do you know how the best and brightest go about finding those oval objects obscured by their environs? Well you're in luck, because the newest journalist for Magic Paradise Weekly just egg-cepted that very assignment!

In a corner of the Magic Paradise Weekly office, Konana paused dramatically with her chest puffed out in confidence. She needed to teach this new assistant who's boss, and what better way to accomplish that than to put the fear of the Shadow Lord into her underling?

"At attention, you sniveling-wiveling peon! Your exalted mistress's first decree is for you to—"

"Don't make such a scary-wary face at me, Konana! I'm just here to help! Oh, and I take egg-ception to that condescending tone of yours."

"Did I say you could speak yet, maggot-waggot!? I don't care how scared you are of me or excited you are for the annual Egg Hunt; the key to being a successful journalist is having good listening skills. You do want to be a good journalist, don't you!?"

"Y-yes, ma'am!"

A cunning smile briefly flickered across Konana's face. She'd finally hooked her catch, and she certainly wasn't going to let it off the line.

Last year's article was about as fun to research as sitting-witting on splinters, but this year it looks like I'll have a victim to take the brunt of the pain.

"You do know that adventurers can find initial eggs lying around in random places, right? You don't need to rely on the festival moogles for everything."

"Eggs-actly! Oops, I mean right! Yes, ma'am! Of course!"

"…Just stop it with the puns already. You don't need to say the same thing three times, either. But getting down to business, almost no reporter in the whole realmy-wealm has been on the scene to witness an adventurer acquiring one of these eggs. They obviously don't want to reveal their techniques…"

"What an en-egg-ma decorated with mystery! A truly shell-shocking premise if there ever was one!"

"I figure, if the job seems too tough for even the most seasoned of journalists, then maybe what we need is the malleable mind of a rookie, unclouded by any reporting conventions. Your first assignment, should you choose to accept it, will be to catch someone uncovering the location of an elusive initial egg!

"I do! I accept! I'll put all my eggs in this basketaru for you and this wonderful newspaper!"

"Ugh, sometimes I wonder why I even try… At least you've got ample amounts of vim and vigor—of which you'll be in desperate need! Danger and death will be your silent companions throughout this assignment, so the faintaru of heart need not apply!"

Jemimi's fur turned as pallid as a hare's while Konana continued heaping bales of gloom and doom upon her.

"You want to be Reraised or instantly warped to safety? Well, I hope you saved up, because you're doing it on your own gil! Your rookie carelessness won't be cutting into our profitaru margins!"

"Th-that seems a little egg-streme—um, whatever you say, my mistress!"

Undaunted, the intrepid Jemimi left Windurst on a mission to scoop the unscoopable. Well, perhaps she was a tad daunted, seeing as how she brought her newly anointed adventuring friend Rhe Tei along for added security.

Flowers had begun to bud across the Sarutabaruta plains, giving comfort to the pair that they were not alone in being green. The breeze that wafted past seemed to caress the land before lazily drifting over the horizon. The same could not be said of the awkward swinging motions the two struggled to make with their scythes as they slashed wildly at the listing verdure.

"Jemimi, I've got one!" Rhe Tei exclaimed as she bent over to grab a brightly painted elliptical orb adorned with the letter "M".

"Wh-where is it?"

"Rrright at my feet. Someone must have placed it in the grass, but I can't find any tracks," she trailed off as her head darted to and fro, scanning the peaceful plains.

"And I haven't seen a moogle for malms…"

Try as they might, the two fledglings came away with not a clue as to how that egg wound up where it had.

Despite this setback, Jemimi was determined not to come back empty-handed. She figured that a change of scenery was in order, so off she and her Mithra companion strolled off to Buburimu Peninsula. Besides, if worse came to worst, at least they could obtain some of that precious mahogany that grew prolifically in the region.

"Maybe this wasn't such a brightaru idea. Where do we even start looking? In the tree trunks?

"Just think for a bit about how prrreposterous that sounds."

"…I guess you're right. That was pretty stupid of me, huh?"

As if to prove the non-existence of trunk-dwelling eggs once and for all, Rhe Tei tensed every muscle in her body and thrust her axe into the nearest tree without warning, cleaving its trunk in twain and stirring the indigenous birds from their roosts. Leaves on the surrounding trees rustled from the reverberations as something came tumbling down from the quivering treetop of a nearby elm. After bouncing off Jemimi's pate with a playful thud, it embedded itself in the ground directly in front of her feet.

"Well, that was un-egg-spected…"

"Don't go making yolks at my egg-spense! That really hurtaru! How'd it get up there, anyway?"

"It sounds like you're the one who's being punny. Anyhow, Did you ever stop to think that the moogles who hide these eggs have wings?"


Although it may have come as a surprise to Jemimi, moogles undoubtedly do have wings, and one moogle most certainly used his to place that lettered prize in such a devious location. Overwhelmed with exhaustion from their travels as well as the gravity of Jemimi's epiphany, the girls gave up on the forest and trudged back via the dusty trails that cut through Tahrongi Canyon. Just when their hopes had plummeted to their lowest, however, they literally stumbled over the skeletal remains of some prodigious creature extruding from the ground. Their curiosity renewed, the stalwart egg hunters took up their pickaxes and set about digging.

"Do you really think we'll have any lucky-wuck with this eggs-cavation?"

"Who knows. Even if it doesn't pan out, you might get strrruck with inspir-egg-tion again, if you catch my drift."

"If that's what you call inspiration, I've had egg-nough of it!"

" Oh, come on. Don't get your tail in a frizz," Rhe Tei retorted as she pointedly drove her pickaxe into the largest protrusion of bone she could find. A dry crackle went up from where the rib had fractured, and—

Once again, an initial egg dropped from its hiding place—a cozy cavity within the bone that had been hollowed out to the exact dimensions of its contents.

"Have I lostaru my marbles, Rhe Tei? Was that egg really lodged inside a piece of bone?"

"No wonder adventurers never want to swap egg-hunting stories…" Rhe Tei peeped in bewilderment.

"Eataru this!"

"Ouch, Ko-Ko, that hurt! …And here I thought violence wasn't egg-ceptable in the workplace."

"It certainly is if you keep making those awful jokes! And I told you not to call me Ko-Ko!"

"I egg your forgiveness! It's just that this assignmentaru was over-hard for me!"

"I thought I told you to cut that out! …Anyway, you can't just desertaru your duties as a journalist! You'll never make it here if you give up so easily!"

Judging from his subordinate's hard-boiled tone, Naiko-Paneiko knew he'd have to walk on eggshells the moment he strolled in, so he immediately donned a sunny-side-up smile and spoke in the lightest and fluffiest voice possible.

"How's that article coming, Konana? You said you'd finally uncover-wover the secrets behind those mysterious moogle eggs, right?"

Konana's face turned egg-white in horror at the question.

"Um, Konana…I think you've got some egg-splaining to do."


Story: Miyabi Hasegawa
Illustration: Mitsuhiro Arita

Category: News

This content copyright Square Enix.