A Rip-Roarin' Ronfaure Rodeo!

This page has been archived here from official Square Enix sources. It was originally posted on 21/09/2010.

Step right up, pardner, 'cause it's that time o' the year again!

What time, you say? Kupo-whoa-whoa there! Did you get kicked in the noggin' by a stampedin' steer!? I'm talkin' about none other'n the Buffalo Blitz, of course!

What started out as a couple o' adventurers payin' tribute to a reckless, rousin' Orcish tradition has become a rasslin' and wranglin' extravaganza celebrated across the realm. Why, even now I see a band of brave adventurers headin' out to the range to rein in for themselves a belligerent bovine or two…

The sun rose high in the sky over Ronfaure that day, its rays scorching the ground and parching the throats of the four adventurers who walked the forest path. I tell you, pardner, if there was ever a day where you'd want to trade your saddle and spurs for a bottle of ice-cold Buffalo Bonanza Ranch milk, this was it.

"Shh! Be silent! The merest rustle of a single leaf will alert the foul beasts to our presence."

The Elvaan paladin admonished his companions in a stern but measured voice. The Galkan monk beside him nodded in tacit agreement, while the Mithran scholar who trailed them by a step adjusted her mortarboard and warily surveyed the surroundings.

The fourth companion, a young Hume white mage, stood enraptured at the sight of a lone buffalo calf grazing on a patch of grass. "Awww… Isn't he cuuute?" she said, beaming forth a smile as out of place as a cockatrice in a chocobo corral.

"Yeah, yeah. Now get a grip, girl, or you'll find yourself on the wrong end of daddy's horns rrreal quick," her Mithran comrade said, again brushing the brim of her cap away from her eyes.

"Shh! We must move softly now." The Elvaan, his ornate armor doused with a liberal dose of eau de buffalo, edged a few steps forward, careful not to frighten the young bovine. Swatting aside the chigoes attracted by the pungent aroma, the four adventurers led the young calf slowly but surely toward their destination.

"Someone helpy-welp meeeeee!"

Not three yalms from their goal, they were greeted by a high-pitched scream, and the sight of a young Tarutaru girl cowering in the wake of a veritable mountain of a buffalo that snorted as it pawed the ground menacingly.

"Ready your mantles! Now!" The Elvaan paladin issued a swift warning, but to no avail.

"Awww… Daddy buffalo's come to see his sweet little baby―" The wide-eyed white mage had but a fleeting moment to enjoy this touching family reunion before she was cattlepulted a hundred yalms into the air and clear over the San d'Orian walls.

By the time the companions had regrouped at the outpost, nightfall was almost upon them. Spotting a lone mother buffalo a short distance away, the Elvaan paladin declared that this would be their last target for the day. The four moved slowly but surely, taking care not to anger the beast as they pushed and prodded her along.


"Currrses! She's back again? That means…"

"Your drover's mantles! Now!"

In an instant, the hulking beast was charging headlong toward them. This time, however, they would be duly prepared. With the potent power of moogle magic shielding them, the brute's powerful horns bounced harmlessly away, and in the next moment, both the bull and its wee would-be prey went hurtling off down a distant forest path.

"That betterrr be the last we see of them," said the Mithra as she brushed the dirt off her scholar's cap.

"That was some mighty fine wranglin', kupo!" a jubilant moogle greeted them upon their return.

"Oh look, look! It's an aldebaran horn!" exclaimed the white mage girl with glee.

"Hm? What do you need with a musical instrument? Last I checked, you were no bard."

"Research has prrroven that this horn increases the monetary fortunes of those who place it in their mog house," the Mithran scholar educated her Galkan friend.

"Ain't that the truth, kupo," said the moogle. "But I'm afraid you're one bovine brand short, little missy."

"Ahhh! That one time I was cattlepulted back to town… Does this m-mean…I can't have…<sniff>…"

"Whoever said that we were done for the day?" The Elvaan paladin wore a stern expression on his face as he spoke.

"I do reckon you've got a few more minutes b'fore sundown, kupo," added the moogle in his distinctive twang.

"Yes. And this time, we'll be ready for anything those beasts come at us with," said the Galka.

"I just hope that Taru girl's gone home to mommy alrrready."

"<Sniff>… Awww, you guys…"

The sun lay low on the horizon as a brisk autumn breeze whistled through the trees. An uprooted shrub went tumbling across the forest path, and off in the distance the sound of thundering hooves could be heard.

Autumn in Ronfaure. Four adventurers, united by camaraderie and a common purpose. With mantles blowing in the wind, they struck out on the range, where a showdown at sundown awaited.

How's about joinin' 'em, pardner? We'll make it worth your while, kupo…


Story: Miyabi Hasegawa
Illustration: Mitsuhiro Arita

Category: News

This content copyright Square Enix.